Double Emotions

Jan was so proud as she flipped the puzzle box around and watched my face as I eyed the inner-workings of a human head. Skull and sinews, nerves and blood vessels, brains and teeth, even a realistic eyeball, it was all there.

“So cool! And so creepy!” 

It was weird how intense both emotions were inside of me. Touching the pieces made me cringe a little bit at the thought of the muscles inside my own neck and how they were tensing and working even now to hold up my head. Jan pointed out the thyroid to me, and I was done swallowing my tea for a while. Clearly I was not created to be a scientist, and yet it was really cool to learn English terms for all the body parts I’d last discussed in my German-speaking high school biology class. I was repulsed and fascinated!

I’ve lived enough years to know that the coexistence of two seemingly contrary emotions is a perfectly normal thing, and yet still it takes me by surprise. Transition always highlights this phenomenon more than any other time. It is the end of May already; my time in America has dwindled from 12 months down to 7 weeks! And as I pack and prepare to move back to Germany, I’m both elated to return and sad to leave. Joy and grief. Sorrow and delight.

“Even in laughter the heart may ache, and the end of joy may be grief.” Prov 14:13.

I read this verse on Thursday and wondered about flipping it as well: “Even in heartache, there can be laughter, and the end of grief may be joy.” They’re both true. Simultaneously. When I am dropped off at the airport on July 19, there is no doubt I will cry with sadness at saying good-bye to Amanda and her beautiful family who have provided a haven for me. At the same time, Ellen and I will screech with excitement to be boarding that plane and returning home, to feel like we’re being put back into the game. I can’t wait to be reunited with my favorite prayer team, and yet I grieve saying good-bye to the Best Small Group Ever at my home church.

I guess I’m not really saying anything new with this blog, just pausing to acknowledge that a skinless puzzle has reminded me how I am indeed in this phase again: fully in sorrow and fully in joy.

Our finished product!

Mythical Ice Cream Trucks

Growing up overseas, the ice cream truck was this magical thing that I read about in books and heard about on tapes (yes, tapes), but never got to experience for myself. Somehow, even during four years in college, these magical vehicles that dispense goodness to your front door never appeared. I began to think it was one of those stories from my parents’ childhood that hadn’t lasted. So imagine the scene when as a fresh graduate on assignment in Taiwan, I was languishing on my first evening in my new home in what felt like 115-degree August heat and suddenly perceived some music in the distance, Beethoven’s “Für Elise” to be exact. I gave it a minute or two to see if the sound was drawing nearer. My housemate, Jenn, down the hall suddenly confirmed my suspicions: “Guys, I think there’s an ice cream truck coming!”

I’ve never moved so fast in such heat. The two of us grabbed our wallets, which had been filled with colorful Taiwanese Dollars mere hours earlier, and dashed down the five flights of stairs. The tinny music was indeed getting closer, and neighbors started to join us on the sidewalk. "If they have Oreo, I'm getting that," I told Jenn. I was too excited to notice that instead of wallets, everyone else was clutching little plastic bags. The truck rounded the corner, and I probably clapped my hands giddily. That is until I noticed the ominous smell radiating toward me as the truck rolled relentlessly toward us, not stopping long enough for people to make any orders. Neighbors closest to the truck stepped off the curb and began tossing their little plastic bags into the back, retreating as quickly as they could. That is when our third housemate came home and in passing by us remarked, “Why are you two waiting for the garbage truck? We haven’t lived here long enough to make garbage yet.” What a let down!

More proof in my mind that ice cream trucks were an elusive thing of the past. Until last week.

Amanda and I went out around the neighborhood for a walk, when a familiar tinny sound reached my ears, and I shuddered slightly. (Oh right, did I mention that garbage truck came every single night of my 365-day sojourn in Taiwan and played nothing but "Für Elise"? It got old by Day 3.) She looked at me with smiling eyes, “Is that an ice cream truck?” “No, I’ve been fooled by that before,” I told her. Unperturbed, she dragged me home quickly and got her kids to come running outside with us. And to my shock: a little white van, non-smelly and covered in ice cream stickers, rounded the corner. They do exist!!!! 

I thought fondly of Taiwan and ate my Oreo bar.

That time I lived in Taiwan and drove a scooter to work. Pictured here with Jenn.

Another Blog I Once Wrote

 So, I'm a bit behind on posting my end-of-the-month blog, and I have nothing written. April has been a bit crazy ....

Thus, I present to you a highly fancy link to a blog I was privileged to write for my Sending Agency. The topic was "How to Create Authentically Christian Schools." Sub-title: "One Teacher's Opinion."

Enjoy

https://worldventure.com/how-to-create-authentically-christian-schools/

a misty morning in Oregon this month