My Country Tis of Thee ... which one?

The 4th of July always brings with it such mixed feelings. I am extremely grateful to be an American. More than anything, I know what privileges my little eagle-embossed, blue-stitched passport bears outside these borders, not to mention the incredible opportunities and freedoms I've gotten to experience within this country. I've gotten to travel coast to coast and back again in one summer, seeing sights such as roaming elk in Yellowstone, the crack in the Liberty Bell, the view from the top of Space Mountain, and the chance to lie in four states at once. My education is another thing not to be taken for granted. I'm nearly finished with my master's degree - how many people around the world can claim that? How many of them female? And of course, who can forget the American staples such as national security, religious freedom, and apple pie?

However, a part of me feels more homesick than ever on this particular day. And with each passing year it gets harder and harder to pinpoint where I'm homesick for. Austria to be sure, but each trip there reminds more and more that I've moved from resident to visitor status, so it's hard to be HOMEsick for a certain place anymore. Germany and BFA? Not yet. My parents' house? Maybe that gets a little closer, but it still doesn't explain the way I both burst with pride and feel riddled with guilt when I try to sing "My Country Tis of Thee," which has nothing to do with where my parents find themselves at the moment.

The longing to have a home country and, more than anything, to BELONG somewhere is so strong sometimes. Once again, the only place I can find solace for my aching heart is in God's word and the promise of the place he's preparing. I trust that he knows me so well that he's going to make my house in heaven exactly what I need on all levels - spiritual, mental, emotional - and that upon entering it, I'll know for the first time in my life that I'm HOME! It will fit me like a glove and wrap me up in a warm blanket. Until then, I'll gladly cheer the fireworks, mumble as many of the words as I can remember to the Star-Spangled Banner, and stand tall and proudly when I watch the waves roll in on an Oregon shore, but oh how I long for that day of being finally in MY country! The one that ironically truly is of sweet liberty.